Arshad observes silence
The moment I met Arshad, I knew I would love him. The first few words of conversations and I knew life would be spirited with him around. There was so much to learn from him. What more, I could blabber like a fool and be appreciated. I could safely say that among all whom I met thus far in my life, Arshad's company was immediate solace. It's like that first chord just sounded perfect.
Arshad never speaks loud. He whispers loudly. He looks like a high school kid and wears that innocent smile of honesty. God! he is always laughing at the end of each sentence. It is so infectious. He is full of information and ever-ready to give it out to you. His passion seems - To be there for everybody in this world. He enjoys running like a crazy racer and can talk about it for eons.
Arshad made plans. He promised to give a concert on his piano. He promised to share his wonderful collection of books. He promised to cook his delicacies soon. He promised to hike with us. He promised to come home for weekends. He promised to watch those foreign movies with us.
The other day Arshad came home with his parents. He dotes his mother and I knew from where he got his behaviorial traits. His parents were just the same. Amazing to chat with. They seemed to live in the same peaceful strata of life. I could see how much Arshad loved and cared for his mother. His mother made plans. She told me to visit her while in India. She said - "I'm am an illeterate in cooking here in the US. Come to my safety abode "Bangalore" and I'll have you taste my cooking". She spoke of her wonderful grandchildren and the stuff she wanted to buy for them.
Next day we get a call that Arshad and his parents met with a car accident and are in the hospital. The only thought was - God make sure they are not hurt badly! We reach the hospital and we are told that his father is in the ICU and that Arshad and his mother are in a different hospital. None of them knew what happened or their status. The doctors said - "We can only talk to relatives. Sorry we cannot give you any information". My heart beat paces ahead on a fast lane. Is something really wrong? Again the only thing I can think of is - "God make sure they are not hurt badly". I began to chant for them.
It's amazing that forever I try to discuss within myself about God and His existence. But when in situations like this, I can only think of God, the miracle creator.
We wait.
Arshad's boss walks into the hospital. He has tears in his eyes. My heart misses a beat. I'm convincing myself everything is fine. He talks about how he is trying to get in touch with Arshad's sister. He says that Arshad's father is in a critical state. Then he walks away. We are left alone with other friends waiting there. Then one friend informs - "Arshad and his mother did not survive the accident".
It hurt me deep. I felt empty. Tears hardly made its exit. I found no reasons to be hearing what I just heard. What went wrong with the universe was my only question. I plainly did not accept the fact. Hoped that someone would restate the fact and say that ALL was fine.
Memories start flying before me. Arshad's smiling face. I crisply hear his voice. His mother's affectionate eyes. Eyes that dreamt of all the wonderful things for Arshad. Yesterday's dinner with Arshad and his family. He was alive.. so alive with us just yesterday. I realized how much he meant to me. All the spiritual books that I read about humans being born to surpass this world someday made sense long ago. Now, I found no solace. Instead I was completely bound... was bound to the human affections, love, its emotions and the pain. The mind's pain suppressed any logical explainations I meant to find. It continued to grow. It continued to question the fact that was laid out before me. I wanted miracles to happen. I wanted Arshad and his mother next to me talking as usual. It hurt that the universe was spinning such a drastic joke on me. It was just a month since I knew him. I had weaved my own plans with him. There was so much to discuss with him. Was the past month just a dream? Why did I have to meet Arshad only to part so early? What sense am I to find in the events that occured?
I search within me for reasons while Arshad observes silence forever.
Arshad never speaks loud. He whispers loudly. He looks like a high school kid and wears that innocent smile of honesty. God! he is always laughing at the end of each sentence. It is so infectious. He is full of information and ever-ready to give it out to you. His passion seems - To be there for everybody in this world. He enjoys running like a crazy racer and can talk about it for eons.
Arshad made plans. He promised to give a concert on his piano. He promised to share his wonderful collection of books. He promised to cook his delicacies soon. He promised to hike with us. He promised to come home for weekends. He promised to watch those foreign movies with us.
The other day Arshad came home with his parents. He dotes his mother and I knew from where he got his behaviorial traits. His parents were just the same. Amazing to chat with. They seemed to live in the same peaceful strata of life. I could see how much Arshad loved and cared for his mother. His mother made plans. She told me to visit her while in India. She said - "I'm am an illeterate in cooking here in the US. Come to my safety abode "Bangalore" and I'll have you taste my cooking". She spoke of her wonderful grandchildren and the stuff she wanted to buy for them.
Next day we get a call that Arshad and his parents met with a car accident and are in the hospital. The only thought was - God make sure they are not hurt badly! We reach the hospital and we are told that his father is in the ICU and that Arshad and his mother are in a different hospital. None of them knew what happened or their status. The doctors said - "We can only talk to relatives. Sorry we cannot give you any information". My heart beat paces ahead on a fast lane. Is something really wrong? Again the only thing I can think of is - "God make sure they are not hurt badly". I began to chant for them.
It's amazing that forever I try to discuss within myself about God and His existence. But when in situations like this, I can only think of God, the miracle creator.
We wait.
Arshad's boss walks into the hospital. He has tears in his eyes. My heart misses a beat. I'm convincing myself everything is fine. He talks about how he is trying to get in touch with Arshad's sister. He says that Arshad's father is in a critical state. Then he walks away. We are left alone with other friends waiting there. Then one friend informs - "Arshad and his mother did not survive the accident".
It hurt me deep. I felt empty. Tears hardly made its exit. I found no reasons to be hearing what I just heard. What went wrong with the universe was my only question. I plainly did not accept the fact. Hoped that someone would restate the fact and say that ALL was fine.
Memories start flying before me. Arshad's smiling face. I crisply hear his voice. His mother's affectionate eyes. Eyes that dreamt of all the wonderful things for Arshad. Yesterday's dinner with Arshad and his family. He was alive.. so alive with us just yesterday. I realized how much he meant to me. All the spiritual books that I read about humans being born to surpass this world someday made sense long ago. Now, I found no solace. Instead I was completely bound... was bound to the human affections, love, its emotions and the pain. The mind's pain suppressed any logical explainations I meant to find. It continued to grow. It continued to question the fact that was laid out before me. I wanted miracles to happen. I wanted Arshad and his mother next to me talking as usual. It hurt that the universe was spinning such a drastic joke on me. It was just a month since I knew him. I had weaved my own plans with him. There was so much to discuss with him. Was the past month just a dream? Why did I have to meet Arshad only to part so early? What sense am I to find in the events that occured?
I search within me for reasons while Arshad observes silence forever.
posted by Rashmy at 3:20 PM
